I have friends without kids. Maybe even some of them read this blog. They lament that they a) are still single b) don't have kids and how lucky I am. I assure them we have the same amount of happiness. Being single or married with out kids is like an even happiness, somedays are better or worse than others, but mostly you go along your merry way.
Life with children is more like a Roller Coaster. Some days you are so incredibly happy that your kid a) slept through the night b) pooped in the toilet c) let you take a 10 minute shower without banging on the door. Other days you are so low you swear you are going to a) pull out all your hair b) run screaming naked from the house, never to return, c) are going to go to bed and pull the covers over your head and lock your bedroom door because the child(ren) a) poured goldfish crackers/cornstarch/a bottle of sunscreen all over your kitchen floor/bathroom floor/new plasma TV b) were up 15 times in the night to throw up c) said "mom, mom, mom, mom" 15,000,000 times even though you said "what?" 14,999,999 times.
Mom may have a run of bad days wondering what the heck she was ever thinking. Then, one morning, all children will have slept through the night, you will have gone to bed at 8pm with them, you wake up an hour before them feeling refreshed, able to have a 15 minute shower (including shaving your legs) and drink an entire cup of coffee while still hot. Then have 10 minutes just to gaze upon your sleeping children and realize how much you are in love with them and your still-sleeping spouse.
That was not my night and morning. In fact, I'm having trouble remembering the last time that happened what with my sleep-deprived induced fog from the baby that is making the military sleep deprivation training look like nap training.
Henri was up 1:30-4:00 either crying, wide awake, or trying to sleep with me.
Did I mention what sleeping with me entails with Henri? Henri is not what you would refer to as a snuggly baby. He's a wiggler. If I try to have him sleep in my bed, first he has to sigh and throw himself down in every direction trying to get comfortable. At least 3 of these tries will result in a headbutt to my head (did I mention that the little peanut has a 75th percentile size head?) and 2 will result in my having my eyes poked out.
The second we are home the sleep training begins again. Seriously. To be fair, he had a fever and is a bit snotty nosed this morning.
Last night I jokingly thought I'd take a nap. Now it is nap time. I had my one cup of coffee and am shakey I'm so awake.
So, yes, my friends. I'm not happier being a mom, I'm not worse off. I'm the same as you, only a little more insane.
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I hear ya sister...I'm right where you are. Except I don't have the backbone to do any of this 'sleep training' you speak of. Instead, I will wait patiently (and insanely), for my children to both sleep through the night. In the meantime, I will continue to deal with the nights, like last night...when Will was up twice for a bottle and Lili woke up for the day at 4:15am...happily spazzing out when I wanted to just sit down and cry. Just keep telling yourself (as everyone tells me)...it will get better...right? =-)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd about the sleep training...DO IT! It's worth the effort.