More dreams = so tired!

I go through weeks where I dream constantly all night and don't feel rested when I wake up.  It used to be cyclical-I'd have a few weeks where I had them, then a few weeks off.  It's been awhile since I've had a spell, though.  Months.  Until this last week. I think they started last Sunday or Monday and have been nightly since. I think I've had one night where I only dreamt half the night.  These weeks leave me irritable as I feel like I've been doing something all night. For instance, one night I moved someone into a college dorm.  Last night I was on a road trip.  I can't remember all the dreams, usually just pieces of the one right before I wake up.  I fall asleep, hit REM and dream, then awake, change position, dream, awake, change position.  The good news is now I fall right back asleep (I didn't always-sometimes I'd awake for a few hours, then go back to sleep).  However, falling back asleep means falling into another dream. 

I asked my husband if it drives him crazy to have me tossing and turning all night.  He is more of a night owl than I am (well, he's the night owl I used to be before kids necessitated someone waking up at a decent hour to get them off to school) and he also sleeps more deeply.  He's actually a little jealous of my dreaming.  He says when he dreams he feels more well rested and peaceful.  He joked that maybe he's got all his inner baggage worked out and maybe that's why I dream more than him.

You'd think I'd awake refreshed, aren't dreams your subconscious way of working things out?  Apparently not necessarily for me.  However, last nights' did feel better.

Last nights' dream is sticking with me this morning. I was on a road trip.  Some 8 hour roadtrip with just I and the kids, no Paul.  I may have even driven to pick them up?  Anyway, right before waking I'd gone to church with my grandma (my Dad's mom) since I was at my destination and was preparing to get ready to drive back and her church had gone in the mega-church direction-I don't know that the female pastor was even there in the church or preaching from somewhere else-anyway, it was very impersonal and on a huge projector screen.  At the end, she was admonishing me about coming into the church (I cannot recall if she listed a specific reason-maybe it was my dislike of really large churches?) I looked around and the only congregation left was about 30-45 people who were from churches I'd attended over the years, mostly LWUMC.  She was saying something about if anyone stayed to support me that they'd not be welcome back.  These churchgoers from my past (and a few who have been sure to talk to me whenever they see me in my current church) all stayed.  They defied the pastor on the screen who seemed shocked that they would side with me rather than her about whatever my transgression seemed to be.  I had a feeling of love. I hugged every one on the way out of the church and we all sat and had coffee out of fancy teapots that I believe was spiked with Kaluha or Bailey's, lol. 

It got me to thinking as I lie there in bed seeing that the light was starting to come in around the blinds.  I do feel bound to a church family who I'm sure thinks of me time to time even though I'm away. Every time I go home to visit they all ask when I'm coming back and are genuinely happy to see me.  I imagine I will seek this even more in the coming years as my parents retire and sail off into the sunset as my brother has also moved out of the area.  I still have friends in the area and I'm sure we'll make an annual pilgrimage as we've done since moving here. I am trying to integrate with my church family here.  I've been attending the church we got married in and the people do try to make conversation and be nice.  I know that I need to do more non-Sunday stuff to get to know people better in small groups as well as have better attendance.

Anyway, enough about seeking meaning of the dream (I have my ideas that I'm not ready to share) it did leave me with a feeling of peace and of being loved even from afar, so for that I'm thankful.  The dreams will finally leave when I've become so exhausted that I can't even dream anymore and I'll go back to dreamless sleep (whether I'll sleep through the night or not remains to be seen-my sleep patterns have never been great despite my best efforts as an adult now that I NEED my sleep).  Until then I'll nurse my large morning coffee, drop words from my sentences (the first thing to go with lack of sleep) and be a little cranky.